Not All Conflicts in the InterNova Editorial Board Are Resolved

- Michael? - What? - Hey, you could at least try to be a little more friendly. - Okay, what's up? - I have to talk to you. - I know this kind of voice. Please do me a favour. - I haven't even said a word yet. - Exactly. That's why I ask you. Hold on for a moment. Take a deep breath. - What...? - Please. I beg you. I implore you. Just think for a minute. - About what? - Try to figure out if it's really important what you want me to know. - Okay. - And? - It is. - Tell me why I'm not suprised. Okay, go ahead. - Ehhh... [breathing] We have a guest. - Nice. Who is it? - Promise me not to be angry. - You make me afraid. See? I'm starting to shake. - He came a long way. - We all did. - Nonsense. You live in Wuppertal. All our collaborators wasted a lot of money because you wanted to have the InterNova commune here. - Please. - Okay. As I said, he came a long way. - You said so. - From the South Pacific, to be precise. - What? - He's standing outside, waiting to meet you. - Well, just open the door. - Please try to muster all your natural tolerance. - Who is it? - He is a little shy. - Well, that's no problem. Many writers are. - And he is... - What? Goddam, tell me. - I knew that you'd be annoyed. - And what? - He is wetting the porch. - He is wetting the...? Oh god, it's the fish man. - Yes, he is. You could at least give him a chance. - He is dyeing seaweed leaves with his body fluids. That's disgusting. I wouldn't call this a writer at all. - Just because his techniques are revolutionary doesn't mean that he isn't great. - Please bring him to the next water zoo to look for some friends. Then clean our porch and we will forget about it. - You act like a damn asshole. He is 40% human. Judging from your reaction that's probably more than you. - Well, I'm usually not the commanding kind of editor. But today I am. Forget about it. You got me? - You've yelled loud enough. I'm not deaf. - Try this again and you'll probably be. And forget about the yeti man, in case that he's also waiting outside. And the Lybian hindi man too. - Malayalam. - Whatever. - Yes, master. May I kiss your feet? - Just show a little discipline and do your job as everybody else. - I'm not sure anymore what my job is. - Then I tell you. You've not submitted a status report for a whole week now. - I made my notes. - Well, go ahead. - You'll probably be even more annoyed. - That's life. - Okay. Claudia has blown your monitor speakers. She tried to play "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on your synthesizer. She's a rather vivacious woman, you know. - Which synthesizer? - Don't ask. Two keys got damaged too. - Fine. What else? - Frank has drunk like a beserk. He tried to seduce our secretary but was so fucked-up that he didn't realize it was our eighty-years-old cleaning woman whose skirt he lifted. - And it's probably all my fault. - Of course. He's trying hard to be cool. But he's an extremely sensitive young man. Ever asked yourself why Lavie is traveling around the Australian outback for four years now? Did you really believe that he hasn't found Ayers Rock yet? - What else? - Gabi Behrend is not completely recovered. She smashed all the plates in the kitchen and has torn all copies of your last novel to pieces. She said you're a fucking male chauvenist pig. Even Flavia is starting to believe her. - I don't believe you. That would be real bad news. - Wait for the rest. Ronald came over from the Nova offices to pay a visit. He was rather moderate. He tentatively stated that you seem to have lost some of your organizational skills. - I'll talk to him. - Frank Haubold called. He seemed a little pissed-off. Asked when his story will be online. He's waiting for almost four days now. - Okay, I may have forgotten some things. I'll update my list. - The taxman was here. He said he still has no information about your income for the last 37 years. Hm, I think it was 37. - Forget about him. - We have good chances to be declared a criminal organization soon. - Fine. That wouldn't be too far off from the truth, wouldn't it? - And then there's Tabi. She has deleted all her photos from your hard disk. She said you know why. - I don't. I will call her. - Well, that's almost all. - To make things short: It was an altogether average week. - You may say so. And what are we going to do now? - What do you think? - We'll upload the next 62 stories next week, as planed. With the two specials about feminist cyberpunk novellas from Mauretania and classic sf poetry of the Seventies from Vatican city. - Exactly. - Shit, that sounds like work. - You're young. If you have the energy to attack me, you also have the energy to work. - You know, sometimes you're a real... - Shut up.

Bearbeitet von Michael Iwoleit, 14 Oktober 2010 - 00:56.